If this is the?

Have to disappoint you: to re-educate an adult person is almost impossible, even if he's not a man and a woman. Something to correct even theoretically possible in childhood, and that's not all: our manners, habits, and behavior almost 90% are defined by genes and is inherent in us from birth.

They say that a bull Terrier must hard and painful beating while he is a puppy. Then he'll remember what pain is, because with age it the pain to feel will cease. People, of course, not necessarily to beat, but as a child they still are afraid of something and someone listened.

Age and character

A grown man already, as a rule, are not afraid of anyone and he does not have the authority, whose instructions and wishes, he would do so unconditionally, like a parent. (Yes, and a parent in childhood, not all do.) So strange to hope that people suddenly take and begin to work on oneself, because that is what his wife wants. Most likely, will not start. And the more years the person is, the more challenging it is to change something from outside-and himself.

Therefore, the most experienced women have long realized that it is better from the start to try to see the future husband in all his imperfections and realize that they can be tolerated then or not. After all, love will pass, and the flaws will come out in all its glory, and even worse. With age deteriorate because not only products, but also we all.

Instead of re-education

So first and most important tip — try to see in the chosen one all at once and not only good. As for the ears you were in love with him. This is good advice — it is a pity that almost no one ever not. And so in 2-3 years of living together you suddenly notice that you hate his habit of the day to sit at the computer, to scatter around the apartment clothes, not to lower the toilet lid, etc., etc., etc.

Before you it's just the disapproval notice, and now you were mad. Tell me, who's to blame? You. It's you it's annoying, and he's always been just you easier about it. And why should he suddenly start to change what you put up before?

However, there are two ways to do it without divorce. The first is to change your attitude to his faults, that is, to try to see good in bad.

Yes, the clothes lying all over the apartment. But it is immediately obvious that it's time to wash. Agree: if he piled it in a heap in the corner, it would not be so simple. Yes, the whole day he sits on his computer — but you always know where he is. He does not go to the saloons and mistresses — he has long since replaced a variety of websites. Moreover, the whole apartment is at your disposal and you can enjoy it all than you want. He won't even notice if you accidentally set fire to the carpet or lead man.

The second way to do it without divorce is to slowly accustom the man to something good, so he slowly weaned from the bad. Well, for example, he used to live in the mess. The first was the communal zahlamlenija parent, then of a smoky Dorm room with friends and bottles instead of furniture, and then you lived in a rented apartment that I just didn't want to bring to mind, because it is removable.

Now you have a house and clean. Are you trying to make it clean, and he still goes on the carpet in muddy shoes. How to wean? To clean the carpet at all? Lay black? No. Lay, on the contrary, white. For this perfect carpet and better they make everything. Well, not up his leg to walk in my shoes on this white silence. So what shoes he will be shot. You can then replace it with a jar of beer with cigarette butts in the ashtray and beautiful to create it a comfortable Smoking area on the balcony. The chair put there for example. Only it all without pressure and ora, but tactfully and sensitively. So he liked it and he understood, that so more comfortable.

In General, gradually so you can achieve these miracles which you yourself marvel at. It does not look like a training, and was perceived as the solid care of it, beloved. You can also do away with his habit of eating on the couch. Once you learn how to serve a table and serve some delicious dishes — and the man will learn how beautiful they are at the dinner table, not the stools.

Reasons to leave

But there are three habits, when it is better to leave a man: alcoholism, drug addiction and gambling. Almost none of them are incurable, and a mild form almost always goes in hard.

Ask any psychiatrist: he will confirm to you that five and only five measly percent of the total number of alcoholics and drug addicts are able to finally. Others may refuse the potion only temporarily, and return to the past is possible at any time. And, by the way, your leaving such men can only help him. Although some still manage to engage with the disease for the woman.