It's no secret that healthy, happy, able to realize their talents and potential of adult comes from my childhood. It is desirable that this child was more calm, without heavy emotional experiences. Doctors clinic and Department of psychosomatic medicine and psychotherapy Riga Stradina University named for some time, and we cooperate with pediatricians.
Studies confirm that emotional distress in childhood automatically mean that, as an adult, the child will be more hurt mental and physical diseases. The biggest distress in a child cause differences in the family, during which the child feels emotional discomfort. In children the fear arises because they find it difficult to understand what is happening in the family. This leads to despair, especially if in the heat of the argument parents have a question on with whom from them the child wants to live if parents no longer live together. Even if parents don't think so, their quarrels for a child is very difficult experience and testing.
Has a negative impact on the child and the mother's return to work in the first year of his life. Unfortunately, we tend to forget that the child is not a Teddy bear, he feels a strong need for the presence of a number of the second person. Otherwise can only grow Mowgli, says the psychotherapist, Professor Gunta Ancane.
And authoritarian behaviour on the part of the father automatically establishes a model sadomasochistic relationships in the family.
In order for the children not reached the distress, an important precondition for the development of children are pleasant attitudes and feelings. In the future, these feelings pass in a conditioned reflex, when the children are fun to be around with people. Thus in children the foundations of mental health that they do not become timid, timid, shy people, and grew bold, confident and full of dignity.
It is important for parents to understand — if the child feels rejection (emotionally or physically) from the important people for him, then the child is formed syndromes of chronic pain that can be chronic pain, and such symptoms as sleep disturbances, bedwetting, frequent stomach aches and head, disorders of attention and concentration.
In addition, the child's brain records all emotional experience — all good, a good that can be when he is in the arms of a loving mother, just like all nasty when it gets into the hands of a mother, in the inner world which is no place for this child and its needs.
Very often in the second case, bring the child to the pediatrician or psychosomatoses-psychotherapist with complaints of chronic headaches and abdominal pain, sleep disturbances, incontinence or chronic pain of the joints, and as a result, the doctor concludes that all these problems really were caused by prolonged emotional pain.
Professor Gunta Ancane recalls that parents create an environment that can be emotionally pleasant or full of emotional distress.
To ensure emotional well-being, the child should feel that his parents feel joyful and happy. People who do what they want, and achieving their aims, much more constructive as a result of which they did not have enough time to live in distress and their children. Parents who are not able to be happy and enjoy, are usually irritable, dissatisfied, frustrated and full of their own distress, whereby it is manifested and against children, and the child feels rejected.
Also the biggest emotional trauma can occur when children do not manage to attract by arousing in the other person empathic response. In this case, such emotions as profound and pervasive shame, sense of rejection and the feeling that "I am bad" are laid in the basis of the child's personality. Such a child is in adolescence or adulthood, consciously or unconsciously, in a sense, would feel worse than others, and would feel rejected.
You can hear that parents often complain about — the child may not get a good grade in school, although he knows everything. Unfortunately, the inability to stand before the class takes place from home. Being at home, where the level of distress is somewhat less child can make a little more. These feelings if they occur out of the house, overwhelm the child's mind and stop her work.
Therefore, the Professor urges parents to think about what is behind the sensitivity of your children?
Sensitive children are the same children who live in chronic distress and disease which are due to various factors not manifested somatically, but their distress comes out through the emotional symptoms. Unfortunately, parents sometimes easier to say — he's a sensitive child, because in this way parents may not think about the welfare of their children, and to engage in their own comfortable condition and its improvement.
The more failures a person can be in childhood, the more one begins to feel like a loser, an outcast, a very excited, full of feelings of shame or guilt. It is increasingly exposed to various situations of distress, fueling feelings of inadequacy. The higher the child's self-esteem, the stronger it will feel, getting into a new stressful situation.
In our time, when everyone has their own difficulties, the only thing that really need is good mental health — especially parents who can pass it on to their children.
Of course, parents too easy, because there is no one institution in which to master the necessary knowledge on parenting and safely say at the end that now they know exactly what to do in a given situation. But you have to understand that for children it is extremely important that the emotional presence of parents, by their example, they show children how to react in different stressful situations. The main thing is to remember that failures are and will be, but we must not allow them to disfigure their own identity and the identity of their children!
More detailed information on the causes of stress in children and adolescents, their consequences, treatment and prevention, including the need of magnesium for stress management/ resilience to stress, on a home page: www.stress.lv.