When I tried to find how the English spell the name Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein, who was in the media spotlight, I came to the conclusion that in Latvian the Internet the most attention this case has paid TVNet. Besides, the first news — a friend of Weinstein Quentin Tarantino was "stunned and broken" when he learned about the charges against the producer.
Continuing to read the other articles, I see that "20 women openly shared their experience of encountering this man, who was tortured sexual problems". In fact, I'm concerned that the Internet media violence or sex crimes is trying to turn into witty play on words or otherwise eliminate the severity to reflect this with subtle disparaging humor a La "the Guy with a Golf club beats a friend's debts." Returning to the search for Weinstein in the Latvian language (Latvian tried all possible ways of writing his name), I also find out that "Pink is contributing in a Hollywood sex scandal." This title, of course, means that it is commented. Of course, maybe with the flow of foreign fake portals (DailyMail, E! and others) we were lucky. Russia is doing the exciting step further, telling all that wherever Putin is, no, sexual violence is impossible.
I really hope that people read the news and comments in English. After all, this story is not about a "man with issues", and on systematic use of power that with impunity — no more, no less — to commit crimes against people who are in a much less secure position. Something that many obviously considered the norm. Woody Allen, one of those who would have at least embarrassed to remain silent, said to the BBC that it was "sad for all parties," and he hopes that this will not lead to a "witch hunt, when every man in the workplace winked at the woman, suddenly will be forced to call a lawyer to defend itself". Don't worry, woody. Even every man who sexually uses a minor girl, it is not necessary to call a lawyer or lose status in Hollywood.
Even Weinstein defends fashion designer Donna Karan, saying that women still should think, if they do not provoke men with their clothes style. But actress Lindsay Lohan says she worked with Weinstein, he does not hurt her.
And yet the majority of the public opinion directed against the actions of Weinstein. Not all of these opinions are expressed easily — some of them are a desperate attempt to save their reputation or to continue to publicly behave in accordance with the declared values. However, it seems, thank God or someone else, we finally live in a time when it is impossible to say that "she had too short a skirt, she is guilty, especially me, no one raped, so you hardly". And don't get a serious conviction in the public space.
Most likely, everyone around was aware. Most likely, it is impossible for decades to stick to every other actress or model, many of them sexually assault cover up scandal, to pay large sums to victims who refuse to remain silent, and not allow this story to go beyond hotel rooms. Brad pitt know about Angelina Jolie. Ben Affleck knew about the case of rose McGowan. In the end, at the ceremony "Oscar" comedian Seth MacFarlane, calling the list of nominated Actresses, allowed himself to joke: "Congratulations, you five will no longer have to pretend that Harvey Weinstein seems attractive." The audience was laughing. Joke realized.
Woody Allen still adore it the prolific Director. He went unpunished. The life of Roman Polanski, however, somewhat complicated, but it is still unpunished. Donald trump excitedly gave instructions on how to properly sexually harass women, and he is the President. Casey Affleck recently received the "Oscar". Paid a couple of million in a settlement agreement in the history of their sexual crimes. One dismissed from influential positions "tortured sexual problems man" is still very far from being fair to those accused of crimes of a sexual nature.
And although somewhere in the background you can hear the question "Why do they all this time?", this is not the biggest issue in the public space. Blindly blaming the victims becomes a little more difficult. I think that's why I so avidly read in connection with this case. There is something soothing and reassuring in how women speak and explain, "why peace." And sometimes you choose to remain silent, as you think that you're not resisted. Sometimes even resisted, after all, couldn't resist. And then you failed to explain to myself, why not do it differently. From the easier to notice that the victim is not to blame for the fact that it makes someone else.
Women perfectly trained in self-flagellation since childhood. Do not provoke men. Don't need to dress provocatively, to send mixed signals, spending the evening alone in his apartment, if you don't want to "something happened". No need at all to go to the apartment. If you think about it, not just later in the evening to walk alone. Don't need to be defiantly drunk. Do not say this "made about something to think about." Oh, and if you happen to be in a very unpleasant situation, also need to behave correctly. Among the countless homilies I heard this: in the case of rape it is not necessary to resist, because it is even more "that will excite and enrage". In the first class in the circle of Taekwondo taught me: if there are no other options if you attack a bad man, which is something you would need both thumbs to prick right in the eye. Basically, I was seven years old learned that men want to force me to have sex, and I have to do the right thing, otherwise she will be guilty.
And still, when I go out tonight alone, I often one hand grasping the bunch of keys, and the other struggling straining your thumb. While angry that dared to be in the place where I'm insecure. Once I moved in with a friend in the neighbourhood, and returned home much after midnight. Somewhere between a third machine, which pulled up, and the fourth pedestrian, who expressed the compliments of a sexual nature and more direct suggestions, I called a friend to he went out. He came out, but was very surprised. He didn't know that I'm scared to walk alone in the dark. I explained that I was not afraid of the dark, and features of the area. But before I did not occur to you that men just don't know it. How do they know what it feels like when you're on the street at night trying to slap on the ass? Or, referring to the words of Lindsay Lohan, "if this doesn't happen to me, can't be that it happens to other people".
Actress Alyssa Milano after the scandal with the Weinstein decided to support his girlfriend rose McGowan and launched a Twitter campaign #MeToo. She encourages women who have experienced harassment or attacks, use this hashtag to show how this is a big and pervasive problem. In the first days she received more than 12,000 responses — Yes, #I, too, have experienced this.
I've never been raped.
I have experienced three attempts of rape, I managed to escape (I was walking late in the evening, not so dressed). I woke up on the night ferry with the hand a stranger in my bra (not guessed that I had to scrape together money for a private cabin). I once fell asleep on a late night bus and woke up with another hand between her legs (apparently, nothing at all to sleep in public places). The man spat in my face when I denied him the friendship of a sexual nature (I did it too impolite). I was forced to kiss the man who locked me in the car and said I wasn't going to let it go, and if I don't do anything good, it will be worse (should think twice about which machines are to sit). Once in India I was attacked by a gang of minor boys, who were trying to compete who's better able to grab the "place" (not necessary for tourists to walk in the wrong areas, especially in such slutty clothes like jeans). Or gentleman of eighty years, who invited me to visit and then struggling to convince them to wear underwear his dead wife (no need to go for men, including the gray-haired gentlemen intelligent appearance). Oh, and of course, I worked in a bar at the chief, who sat down and talked about their sexual victories and talents, along with the "accidental" touching (don't need to be from Eastern Europe and work the bar).
All voiced and unvoiced seemed too soft. There are also much more violent history, it's only a minor unpleasant episodes. Men who spank on the ass, men who grab your hand and put it on a member — well, who hasn't been there? Sometimes the situation escalated to something unpleasant, sometimes able to "swing" in trouble, or just run away. But everything I put in brackets — then I really think this is the cause. Ever the reason did not seem a man, a particular man who behaves badly, incorrectly or with impunity.
Most of these cases I experienced when I was very young. Now I know that sexual aggression is unjustified. But then I felt great shame for what I allowed myself to get into such a situation, although both of these situations seemed inevitable because men. Well, men just are what is really there. Then I do not think that it is possible to change, or that we must speak out loud.
Now I think differently. However, the feeling that one hashtag is not enough. Still and all, #I am also.
The translation of the DELFI. The original here.